DannyboyO1's Journal

Writing blocks
Like building blocks, I guess. Anyway, some of you know that I have been working on not totally fucking up a story I've been slowly putting down at dannyboyo1.blogspot.com It's been... interesting. Also very very painful. You can see from the update dates, I am slow at this. I get bursts of motion and then have a problem I can't quite solve. I usually figure it out when I stop to complain about it, but not always the first few times.

If you didn't know, well, it's a plot about a guy's journey into a realm of superheroes and his eventual return to reality to take over the world as an evil overlord. I've been toying with how to write it for a while, have a whole arc that should stretch into three books pretty nicely. But I don't really have the main character fleshed out, because... of course, there's some author-insertion going on there. I've gotten this far, and I'm realizing that while I can maybe avoid making it into an obvious Mary Sue, I've kinda got nothing up my sleeves for an enthralling narrative voice and...

well...

I have a real hate/love affair with the whole damn thing. I keep wanting to fail, to fuck up, so I can stop, and try something else, but whenever I do, I get an idea, I solve a problem, and it becomes just barely possible again, and I drag a few more pages out until the next logjam. I've been doing this stop-go process for a few years now. Mostly stop. I did pick a project initially that was compelling to the imagination, yet did not totally absorb me, so I could, in theory, remain objective about it... and treat it like a job.

Well, I have a shitty boss when I'm working for myself. And the worst employee on record. There is no motivation. I don't feel like I'm expressing my own voice, or doing anything really kickass with whatever I have that passes for talent. I feel like I'm making something that's actually aiming to be second-rate.

So, I'm asking... I'm begging like I've never begged in my life (aside from when I was six and wanted that Transformers toy... but I digress). I want you to tell me something. I want to know if this project is worth carrying out. I want to know if there's a better idea out there... I want a little guidance from the people I consider friends. Tell me if I suck. Tell me I need polish (I know, it's a rough draft there.) Tell me you already read that idea somewhere before. I'm trapped in my brain here.

If you don't respond to this... well, that too sends a message. A really big kick-in-the-crotch one, if you think about it. But one that is likely to have me asking the question "Do you want fries with that?"

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